Cream cheese bagel, croissants, strawberries, bananas, yoghurt, cranberry juice and spicy herbal tea with milk - that's my breakfast for today! I know, I know it sounds like a lot, but let's just leave it for now and deal with the consequences later.... I'm really enjoying my mornings here and hey, im on a vacation, so everything is allowed!
Last night my friend and I got ourselves tickets for Guy Torry comedy show next week. I've always wanted to see what it's like and since there are a lot of comedians here, I decided to give it a chance. I'm curious what American jokes are like, do we share same type of humor.... I hope so, but we'll see.
I'm getting more and more into Steve Harveys book I bought a few days ago, I get his jokes and his way of being straight with his audience is something I really enjoy. He's just raw, no sugar coating and he gives you the bad and ugly truth. Well... the truth doesn't have to be bad and ugly, I mean I already knew a lot of the topics he's discussing in his book, because I've read it somewhere else, but his way of writing is just very appealing to me. He's making a great deal out of explaining what a real man is by breaking it down to us women in a way so we'll be able to distinguish between men and boys. 'Cause what is it that defines a man and what drives him?
According to Steve Harvey it's three things, which must be achieved before a man will feel like a real man :
The way I see it, if a man can't protect you and provide you for some reason, then he's got a problem. European girls are raised to be independent, to take care of themselves, pay their own bills and compete with men.
When it comes to me I'm a mix of both, I love being independent, having my own stuff and taking care of myself, but I do like when a man takes care of me to a certain point. When I say a certain point, I mean you have to be really careful, because as you allow someone to take care of you, you give him the power to control you and your life. And we all know how we only can depend on ourselves in this life, so this is a really tricky situation when it comes to love. Because when you're in love you wanna share everything with your significant other, giving up things for him, doing what's best for him and more.
It's really interesting for me to understand how I can share my life with a man I love without losing the power and control I hold of my life. How to maintain a position where I still can be me and be independent, but at same time I'll share my life with a person.
The reason I bring this subject up is that i've been in situations where I totally lost control of my life. I stopped doing things I loved and was questioning myself who am I... The thing I loved the most was freedom and all of a sudden it was gone. I felt like I was trying too hard to fit into someone elses world, where there wasnt room for me. I tried and tried and each time I hit my head against the wall, but somehow I wasnt strong enough to pull away and get back to the life I loved so much. My life, my freedom, my rules.
It all started when I decided to take a break from my work, my company. It happend at a time where everything was going really well, I was investing all my time and money in my company and I enjoyed teaching and doing what I was doing. But because I felt like there was a chance to fulfill another dream, which was starting my own family, I felt like taking a break to figure out my values in life. What was more important to me and why? Was it because my biological clock was ticking that I decided to take a break or was it because I wasn't as happy as I thought I would be with my work?
I know that teaching made me very happy so I believe I took a break because I really wanted to start a family. Eventually the 1-2 months break developed into 1 year break, I kept on focusing on something else and I didn't feel like I could go back to who I was before. When I realized that giving up on something you really like doing changes who you are, I got really scared, mostly because I felt like I was losing the control I had over my life. I felt like I had closed the door to my independence and given the keys to someone else. Back then I wasn't worried, because that person was so close to me, so.. ME became to WE and I thought it was about time to let go of everything that took my time and just focus on the relationship I was having. But I was so wrong!
This is exactly what women do when they are in love, they change, they give up things, they downgrade themselves for no reason and this is far from what men do. They don't give up on who they are, they don't choose you over friendships, work or hobbies. Their love is just different.
I could write about this topic forever, the difference between men and women, but I only wanna focus on writing about my own story. I want to share what happend to me and how I felt during this time.
Believe it or not, I just lost it, I totally lost who I was. The strong and independent girl turned into weak, clingy and needy, the fearless and adventures became afraid and the smart and careful girl turned into foolish. How? How on earth is it possible?
First you have to look at the circumstances, time and place, events and what ever else was going on back then. All these things led to a change. I know what i'm taking about, because I've seen it with my own eyes, when my girlfriends went through same changes. It's painful to watch, but it's much more painful to be the one who's going through these changes.
So what I learned from my mistake is to never let go of the control and power that you hold. Don't give anyone "the keys" to your life.
You can give them the keys to your heart, but never to your soul and your life, because just as seasons change, so do people. The ones we trust the most can abandon us and that's why I've decided to regain control and independence.
And I feel so much better now. Why would I ever want to give up on who I am? Trying to fit into places where they just don't want me.
Last night my friend and I got ourselves tickets for Guy Torry comedy show next week. I've always wanted to see what it's like and since there are a lot of comedians here, I decided to give it a chance. I'm curious what American jokes are like, do we share same type of humor.... I hope so, but we'll see.
I'm getting more and more into Steve Harveys book I bought a few days ago, I get his jokes and his way of being straight with his audience is something I really enjoy. He's just raw, no sugar coating and he gives you the bad and ugly truth. Well... the truth doesn't have to be bad and ugly, I mean I already knew a lot of the topics he's discussing in his book, because I've read it somewhere else, but his way of writing is just very appealing to me. He's making a great deal out of explaining what a real man is by breaking it down to us women in a way so we'll be able to distinguish between men and boys. 'Cause what is it that defines a man and what drives him?
According to Steve Harvey it's three things, which must be achieved before a man will feel like a real man :
- A title (who he is)
- How he gets his title (what he does)
- The reward for his effort (how much he makes)
The way I see it, if a man can't protect you and provide you for some reason, then he's got a problem. European girls are raised to be independent, to take care of themselves, pay their own bills and compete with men.
When it comes to me I'm a mix of both, I love being independent, having my own stuff and taking care of myself, but I do like when a man takes care of me to a certain point. When I say a certain point, I mean you have to be really careful, because as you allow someone to take care of you, you give him the power to control you and your life. And we all know how we only can depend on ourselves in this life, so this is a really tricky situation when it comes to love. Because when you're in love you wanna share everything with your significant other, giving up things for him, doing what's best for him and more.
It's really interesting for me to understand how I can share my life with a man I love without losing the power and control I hold of my life. How to maintain a position where I still can be me and be independent, but at same time I'll share my life with a person.
The reason I bring this subject up is that i've been in situations where I totally lost control of my life. I stopped doing things I loved and was questioning myself who am I... The thing I loved the most was freedom and all of a sudden it was gone. I felt like I was trying too hard to fit into someone elses world, where there wasnt room for me. I tried and tried and each time I hit my head against the wall, but somehow I wasnt strong enough to pull away and get back to the life I loved so much. My life, my freedom, my rules.
It all started when I decided to take a break from my work, my company. It happend at a time where everything was going really well, I was investing all my time and money in my company and I enjoyed teaching and doing what I was doing. But because I felt like there was a chance to fulfill another dream, which was starting my own family, I felt like taking a break to figure out my values in life. What was more important to me and why? Was it because my biological clock was ticking that I decided to take a break or was it because I wasn't as happy as I thought I would be with my work?
I know that teaching made me very happy so I believe I took a break because I really wanted to start a family. Eventually the 1-2 months break developed into 1 year break, I kept on focusing on something else and I didn't feel like I could go back to who I was before. When I realized that giving up on something you really like doing changes who you are, I got really scared, mostly because I felt like I was losing the control I had over my life. I felt like I had closed the door to my independence and given the keys to someone else. Back then I wasn't worried, because that person was so close to me, so.. ME became to WE and I thought it was about time to let go of everything that took my time and just focus on the relationship I was having. But I was so wrong!
This is exactly what women do when they are in love, they change, they give up things, they downgrade themselves for no reason and this is far from what men do. They don't give up on who they are, they don't choose you over friendships, work or hobbies. Their love is just different.
I could write about this topic forever, the difference between men and women, but I only wanna focus on writing about my own story. I want to share what happend to me and how I felt during this time.
Believe it or not, I just lost it, I totally lost who I was. The strong and independent girl turned into weak, clingy and needy, the fearless and adventures became afraid and the smart and careful girl turned into foolish. How? How on earth is it possible?
First you have to look at the circumstances, time and place, events and what ever else was going on back then. All these things led to a change. I know what i'm taking about, because I've seen it with my own eyes, when my girlfriends went through same changes. It's painful to watch, but it's much more painful to be the one who's going through these changes.
So what I learned from my mistake is to never let go of the control and power that you hold. Don't give anyone "the keys" to your life.
You can give them the keys to your heart, but never to your soul and your life, because just as seasons change, so do people. The ones we trust the most can abandon us and that's why I've decided to regain control and independence.
And I feel so much better now. Why would I ever want to give up on who I am? Trying to fit into places where they just don't want me.
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